Chilean Church Revelation

  Howdy yall

I know just heard from me but I had a moment today that I really would like to briefly share because, well, just because. 

I'd like to start by saying I wouldn't consider myself an especially spiritual person. If you're a member of my church community and reading this, just bear with me for a second. 

I wouldn't consider myself much of a spiritual person simply because I don't know if I buy all of the tradition and formality that comes with most religions. I have gone to church since I was very young, but the way I explain it to people here in Chile is that my family was always more for the community than the scripture. It was a way to connect with people and a way to expose me and my siblings to good people who set good examples of how to live, which I am very grateful for. 

Obviously if you talked to my parents have their own religious beliefs and I'm not trying to speak for them, but that was what I got out of church from my childhood, among other things like being able to sing all of the books of the Bible (shoutout to Mrs. Getty who was an epic Sunday school teacher). 

Anyway, why are we even talking about church? 

Well, if you've been following along you'll know that the school that I go to here in Chile is a Catholic, private school. This means that sometimes we take a hiatus from class on special occasions and go to the school chapel to pray, give thanks, or celebrate certain things. 

I won't lie, my Spanish church vocabulary is weak, so I don't understand much. But that just means that often I am left with some time to sit and think. 

Today however, I did understand what was happening. Around 9:30am my whole grade headed down to the chapel and we got handed a leaflet of paper that I understood to have a prayer on it that talked about being grateful for your family. On the back there was a prompt to write down names of "your people" with plenty of blank space. 

Now I'll have you know that I normally try pretty hard to compartmentalize my day so I'm not repeatedly having mental breakdowns in school, which means I don't use any social media during school and I try not to think about, or communicate with my family excessively. 

Yeah, that all went out the window today. 

Obviously I don't remember every word that was said in the prayer, but I do know that it made me really emotional. I was sitting there in that chapel and all I could think about is how lucky I am to have a family that has made it so hard to leave them behind. How lucky am I to have so many different communities cheering me on from 5,200 miles away. How lucky am I to have lived the life I've lived so far because it was made possible by all of these people who care about me so much. 

I wrote down every name I could think of on the back of that paper and I could have sat there all day listing off everyone who has invested in me and helped me get to the moment I am existing in right now. I was just so overwhelmed by gratitude this morning that a few tears may have fallen. Okay, maybe a few more than a few. If you're reading this, please know I'm so grateful for you. So so so grateful.

I think this message is hitting especially hard this week because the National FFA Convention is starting and a group of people that I am blessed to have in my life is the FFA family. To say I have "fear of missing out" would be a grandiose understatement. 

Mom keeps saying to me that everything will be waiting for me when I get home but I still get so nervous that everyone will forget about me. 

Obviously that is a little dramatic but you get the idea. 

I decided today though that even if everyone at home forgets about me, I won't forget about them. 

I carry my family with me wherever I go.

 I carry all of the stories and the morals and the life lessons. I carry the actions, ideas and memories. I carry the names and the experiences because I freaking love my people and I am just a tapestry of all of those who have touched my life. 

Maybe a "church revelation" was too strong of phrasing, because I knew all of these things beforehand, but a lesson that I am learning repeatedly here is that I have a lot to be grateful for at home. But I also know it's much easier to be grateful for the thing that isn't right in front of you. 

So with that in mind, I'm trying to be consciously grateful for my family and people here in Chile too. All I'm saying though is that they have big shoes to fill. 

That's really about it. All that to say I cried in school today and felt a little more connected to whatever life force is out there pulling the strings. 

Much love always,

Anna