New Christmas Traditions

 Merry Christmas everyone! 

These past few days I have been spending time with my host family trying to soak up some new holiday traditions to bring back to the United States. Although it was hard being away from my New York family during this season, I did enjoy my Chilean Christmas very much. 

I saw a meme the other day on the internet that said "Latinos are late for everything, except for Christmas" which obviously is a very broad generalization, but I genuinely feel like most Chilean's at least would agree with this statement. Because get this, in Chile we open all the presents at midnight on Christmas morning, and not one minute later. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself now. Let's start at the beginning. 

In Chile they celebrate Christmas the most on Christmas Eve or "La Noche Buena" which translates to "The Good Night". There is traditionally a large Christmas dinner, just like in the U.S. but we eat much later. My entire host family was there for Christmas Eve dinner, my brothers, parents, Abuela and Isaac's girlfriend Sara who is basically my host sister, and when we all finally sat down it was probably 10:30-11:00pm. 

 As an appetizer we had stuffed tomatoes which were carved out and then filled with a blend of corn, chicken, and mayonnaise. I asked Claudia afterwards and apparently you can make this particular dish with basically anything you'd like. You can use tuna, lettuce, onion, avocado, in essentially any combination you can think of. 

For the main course we had a delicious cut of salmon with "papas duquesas" which translates to "duchess potatoes". They are really just little fun potato balls, but apparently very traditional around Christmastime. 

For dessert, Sara made this delicious strawberry jam, custard, and crisp layered cake that we each got our own little cup of. It was heavenly. It addition to that, we all drank "cola de mono" which translates to "tail of the monkey" and is a type of Chilean Christmas punch, similar to eggnog. I obviously drank the non-alcoholic version, but it was still very tasty. 

After that we all gathered around to exchange gifts. Isaac narrated and picked out gifts from under the tree, distributing them to the person whose name was written on the tag and then we would all whoop and cheer as they opened it up. It was all very sweet and the Christmas presents I bought for my host family went over fairly well I think. At the very least, I tried my best to get a little something thoughtful for everyone and that message came across which is a win in my book. 

My host family also got me some really thoughtful gifts that I am so grateful for. I got a cute rain jacket that will definitely be coming with me to Patagonia and Cornell, a few t-shirts, a pair of slippers for the house, and a Spanish book written by a well known Chilean author. 

After that we all went to sleep and it was about 1:30 in the morning. Before I went to bed though, I made sure to thank Claudia for making me feel so included in her family and I gave her a big hug. Normally I’m not too sappy, so I think it threw her for a loop a little bit, but I really wanted her to know just how grateful I was that they made me feel so welcomed on Christmas. 

On the actual day of December 25th, we really didn't do anything too different from any other day which messed with me a little bit. My family always opens presents on Christmas morning, we have a big huge breakfast and then hang out for a bit before venturing out to visit some of our family members. 

Here in Chile, the water park and restaurant were absolutely swamped on Christmas day, so I just hung out with Abuela in the restaurant for the most part. I called my family and chatted with them which was really nice. I even surprised them and sent them a little Christmas basket which I hope they enjoyed. It was still weird though to be so far away from home, in 80 degree weather, on Christmas. 

I suppose I can survive anything once, but I am definitely excited at the idea of being back home for next Christmas. 

The only other interesting thing I have to report is that I went to a very nice Rotary luncheon yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the Quillota club. It was veryyyyy fancy but very delicious. I sat and chatted with Tarek for the most part because we were the only two there under the age of 55. I think that we get along really well and I am grateful for his friendship. 

We are actually working on hanging out together for New Years to go see some fireworks on the beach, so stay tuned for that adventure! 

As always, sending lots of love home to New York. Please take this time of year to enjoy friends, family, and good food. I say this mostly for myself, but I will be home before we know it :)

Yours truly, 

Anna

I DO HAVE FRIENDS IN CHILE

 Great news. I had a really good past 3 days. 

Let me tell you about it. 

On Thursday, I coordinated with one of my friends, Tarek, to meet up in a nearby city called Viña del Mar and then spend the night at his house to watch movies and hang out. 

Tarek and his family are all part of my Rotary Club because he went on an exchange last year to Aspen, Colorado. His older sister also went on an exchange in Oregon a few years back as well, but they are both Chilean and obviously speak very good Spanish. I met their parents a few times at the Quillota Rotary meetings and they are both very lovely as well. 

Any concerned adults reading this, please know that it was a very safe situation and also that my host family made it very clear that if I felt uncomfortable at any moment, they would move heaven and earth to come get me. 

Anyways, back to the fun stuff. 

Gonzy, my host brother, took me to the train station in Limache which is about 20 minutes away and got me all situated to take the train to Viña del Mar to meet up with Tarek and his mom. This was my first official time on a train completely by myself, and while I was a little bit nervous, I lived to tell the tale! 

Tarek and his mom picked me right up at the train station, and she took my backpack of overnight clothes because she was going to head back to the house, while Tarek and I were going to meet up with his friend Paola aka Puli (pronounced Pow-li). 

We finally found her in a Starbucks and we each got a sweet drink to get us through some shopping. Neither of them really had much they were looking for, but I was determined to take this opportunity to get some good Christmas presents for my host brothers because I hadn't gotten anything for them yet. 

We picked out some delicious truffles in the Lindt store and then we found this place that sells the same brand of chocolate covered pretzels that they have in Stewart's (you know the ones I'm talking about, in the blue bag) and they were on sale so I snagged a few of those too for my host brothers. My Christmas gifts for my host family include a whole lot of chocolate, but can you ever really go wrong with chocolate? 

After that we walked around a bit, and I'd like to say that I felt so comfortable with Tarek and Puli. They both are pretty fluent in English, although we talked in Spanish. It helps me a lot though to converse with people who I can ask questions to in English or who can correct me and then explain it in a way that helps me remember better. 

Additionally, they are both 18 like me and the vibes overall were just a little more mature and settled which I appreciated very much. 

We ended up going on the Ferris wheel that they have in Viña which was fun, although not worth the $8 it cost but oh well. 

After that we stopped at McDonald's because Tarek hadn't eaten lunch yet and I shared some french fries with Puli. Then we started making the trek back to the train to go to Tarek's house, but first we made a pitstop at the grocery store. I had Tarek and Puli pick out a few of their favorite Chilean snacks that we could try later and share during the movie. 

Back at Tarek's house, we ate once (pronounced un-say, aka Chilean dinner) with his parents and sister, just hanging out and talking for a bit afterwards which I've come to find is pretty standard in Chile. 

After once, we, as in Tarek, Puli, Ami (Tarek's sister), and myself, all changed into pajamas to get ready to watch the movie. Ami had decided that we needed to watch Avatar because a new one is coming out soon. We put out all the snacks in little bowls to share and before we watched the movie we did a taste testing game where I would try the new snack, give it a ranking 1-10, and then everyone else would try it and we would talk about it or share random side stories that correlated with the candy. 

It was seriously so fun, I had a blast. Somewhere along the way we decided that we should all have a breakfast for dinner night, but American style with waffles, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, sausage, etc. and I would bring some maple syrup I have tucked away that I have for special occasions. I really hope that happens because it would be so fun. Only time will tell. 

After all of those shenanigans, we finally got around to watching the movie and it was really good. I'd only ever seen parts of Avatar before so it was nice to watch the whole thing through. We did watch it in English, I'm a little ashamed to admit, but Ami, Tarek, and Puli all preferred it in English they said so I didn't want to be rude and insist we watch it in Spanish. 

I will say, it is a very long movie because we ended up staying awake until approximately 2am by the time it actually finished. In the morning we didn't have anything crazy going on though, so no harm no foul. 

I woke up before Tarek and Puli did, mostly because it was a new house and I tend to wake up early in environments that I am unfamiliar with. I just kind of hung out until Puli woke up because she had to go home around 9:30 for a nail appointment.

 After that Tarek and Ami got up and we made pancakes and ate those with peanut butter, manjar (Chilean carmely, sweetened condensed milk cream), butter, and jam. This was actually the first time I ate peanut butter in Chile and holy smokes do I miss it. I'm going to have to eat a whole jar when I come home. 

Ami and Tarek needed to go to a smaller mall closer to their house in the afternoon to buy a special kind of chocolate for their dad for Christmas, so I tagged along. I made some purchases too, a new book being the most noteworthy. It's one I have read before, but it's in Spanish so I'm hoping that reading it will help me further my skills. 

When we got back to the house, the original plan was for me to catch the train again and head back to Quillota, but as it turns out Tarek's dad was heading there around 6pm and could drop me off with my host brother then, so I stayed. 

Ami put on Gilmore Girls and we watched a few episodes and chatted which was really fun. It felt good to watch a girly show with another girl. I definitely took having a sister for granted in that sense, because now with three older host brothers I feel like all I watch is dude movies. 

Tarek was hanging out with us but also kind of doing his own thing. I can tell he is a bit more introverted and that his social battery might have been running a bit low but I didn't mind. It was nice to just sit with the two of them and not be alone. 

When I got back to my host family's house, we ended up having a pretty big dinner that night with the whole family (minus Almendra, for obvious reasons) and stayed up pretty late but it was so fun. The Christmas energy had everyone laughing and speaking over each other. I just sat there and took it in for a moment because it was beautiful. It was one of those moments that I knew I was going to miss, even while I was still living it. 

The next day, I took the morning to wrap the Christmas presents I got for my host family and I had exactly enough paper which has got to be a good sign right? After that I went over to the restaurant to eat lunch with Abuela and we ended up coming back to the house because she had some fruit she needed to cook and I decided that I was going to bake Christmas cookies. 

The cookies took a while because I'm not used to the ingredients or the kitchen. For those of you thinking, "Anna, the ingredients are all the same" you'd be technically right. But they are not the same type of ingredients that I am very familiar with in my house so I had to improvise a few parts. They turned out good in the end and my host brothers ate most of them by today so I take that as they couldn't have been too terrible. 

As for today,  I meant to join the zoom call of church at home but at that exact same time Gonzy and Abuela told me they were going to go to Sunday mass. For me, that kind of experience is exactly why I am in Chile. For any readers coming from the Hebron United congregation, I am sorry I missed you but please know it was with good reason. 

Once we wrapped up at church, we went to visit Abuela's husband at the cemetery. We brought some flowers and a broom to clean off his gravestone. I could tell that Abuela was really glad we went so that way it was looking really nice for Christmas. 

I've just been hanging out at the house now. Trying my hardest to stay true to a list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of my Chilean summer. 

Merry Christmas to all <3

Much love always,

Anna

Christmas cookies I made

 

Pancake Breakfast

 

Chocolate shop I went to with Tarek and Ami

 

Viña from the top of the Ferris wheel (or part of it at least, it's a big city)

 

Completos, a dog haircut, and a constant battle with my internal monologue

 I successfully finished my first week of Chilean summer. I've done a few things, so let's chat about them. 

After my school meeting with my professor, the only other thing I had going on last week was an event on Wednesday that I got invited to by my theater professor. She said that there were going to be free completos (Chilean hotdog with tomato and avocado, don't knock it till you try it) so I was sold. 

Unfortunately, not a lot of my theater friends came because as I realized once I got there, it really was more of an event for the younger students. Everyone could come if they wanted, but the intention behind it was to come and play some games and eat completos to kind of commemorate the end of the year. I'm reaching a point where I feel like everything we have done in the past month or so has been to commemorate the end of the year, but oh well. I'm just along for the ride. 

What ended up happening at this particular event though was I asked my theater professor if she wanted any help in the kitchen assembling the completos, because I felt a little awkward joining in on some of the games when the kids were clearly 5+ years younger than me. She's a younger professor and super chill, so she didn't mind at all that I hung out in the kitchen and helped. 

One of my other professors was there too, she's a sub for our English class sometimes and also pretty young, but she and I have had a decent amount of conversations about all kinds of things. Between the two of them, I just hung out in the kitchen and chatted with the teachers, just like I would have if I was in Salem because mom normally ropes me into that kind of thing (I don't mean to make it sound like an obligation, I very much enjoy the teacher time I get. It makes me feel cool). We talked about normal stuff like food, stuffed animals, how my exchange year is going, getting ready for summer vacation, etc. I'm glad I went because I got to practice my Spanish and literally got paid in two free completos to do it.

That was on Thursday, and after that the weekend was very mellow. I helped a decent amount in the restaurant I would like to think because a big group from a business came on Saturday, so I helped check people in and on Friday afternoon I helped put the meal tickets together. Maybe not the most fun, but I am trying to find the value in every moment and I'm glad that I could help out my host family in some way. 

Yesterday I actually went with my host dad Gonzalo to drop off the inside dogs, Augusto and Violeta, to get their hair cut. Basically I just rode in the back and made sure that Augusto didn't run away or puke anywhere because he doesn't always do so hot in vehicles. But hey, at least I got out of the house. 

Oh, also some good news. One of my friends from school is actually going to New York for Christmas with her family, so I asked her if she would be willing to take a few letters home for my family and mail them and she was more than willing to help me out. I met with her yesterday to give her the envelope. Let's all pray and cross our fingers that it makes it to Salem NY without a problem. 

Now for the internal monologue battle. It's much of the same things I mentioned in previous posts, but I just worry that I am not doing enough to be honest. 

My host dad and I were eating lunch the other day and he told me that I should try to get a hold of some of my friends so I'm not sitting in the house all of the time, or at the restaurant. 

I feel all twisted up about it because of course I want to go out and experience Chile. But I also don't want to be a pain in the butt for my host family because I know they are so busy with the summer season. I also don't wanna be begging to hang out with my friends from school because I know they have their own lives and I'm not exactly the easiest person to hang out with because of the language barrier. 

I swear I am trying to make things happen. My host family must think I've lied to them and I actually have no friends at school because no one has asked to hang out with me or do something. Maybe they're right, but I swear I worked hard to build connections with people while I was in school, so I don't know exactly what to do. 

 I've texted a few foreign exchange student friends to see if they want to get together, and one or two of my school friends too, nothing has worked out yet though

 In my defense, it has been a little difficult to make anything happen because most of my friends went on an end of the year trip to Argentina or Brazil that I couldn't go on because I arrived too late to Chile to turn in the paperwork. It's also difficult to coordinate everything because of the language barrier and obviously I can't drive here so I have to figure out transportation. To be honest it exhausts me having to do all that, but I'm trying.

I've resolved that I need to respectfully get in the way and inconvenience people by asking for help, or to hang out, or to take me places, because that's kind of my job as a foreign exchange student. I can't just be a wallflower all the time, that's not what this experience is about. Even though I hate the idea of inconveniencing people who are already doing so much for me. Sorry not sorry, it's my eldest daughter syndrome coming out.

I think tomorrow I am going to Viña del Mar which is a city nearby with a boy who I met through Rotary who went to Colorado for an exchange last year. He has an older sister who also went on her own exchange and is studying Animal Science here in Chile too, so I might even stay the night at their house to hang out with the both of them. Seriously hoping that comes together so that way my host family thinks I'm less of a loser. Seriously, my Chilean grandma asked me why no one has asked me to hang out yet and all I could do was shrug my shoulders.

That's really all I've got for now. I hope everyone back home is taking some time to rest, bake Christmas cookies, and enjoy the family because as I realized today Christmas is literally next week.

I love you all and miss you all dearly. 

Yours truly, 

Anna

My theater professor (left) and my English professor (right) with a mountain of completos in the middle

 

My host mom with Augusto and Violeta, sporting their new haircuts

 

This is a grapefruit, not an orange

 Learned this lesson the hard way when my host mom told me to go pick her an orange from the tree outside and I realized that I have never picked an orange off a tree in my life.

 Good thing I had the common sense to pick off a couple trees because otherwise I would have had to do the walk of shame all the way back to get an actual orange.

I ended up eating the grapefruit for breakfast this morning, albeit a bit painfully because holy smokes are they bitter. 

Some much needed positive reinforcement

 Yesterday I went back to Chilean school. 

I'm just messing. I went back because I had a parent-teacher meeting with my head professor. We call the professors in school "profe (pro-fay)".  Not super important but an interesting detail. If you're thinking that this meeting sounds ridiculous because I am a foreign exchange student and kind of just a pretend student in school, you would be thinking the same as me. But we went anyway, and goshdarnit just like everyone says, good things come when you least expect them. 

The meeting itself didn't take too long. Claudia and my professor talked for a while about Almendra and how she is doing in Germany and what her return plan for school was, which made me feel a little better because that meant that this meeting wasn't a complete waste of Claudia's time. In addition to that though, my professor asked me what I thought of school, my classes, my professors, etc. Basically just all of the routine things. 

I told him that I was enjoying school and even though it is very different from the U.S. I've had fun in my classes. I also said I feel like I've made some good friends and that I enjoyed participating in different clubs that the school has to offer. When he asked me about the teachers, I said I was very grateful for all of their patience and that I always try my best on the tests and homework as well as during class. 

This is the positive reinforcement part, brace yourself.

Basically my professor told me that all of the teachers sit down and evaluate the students that they have in class and that he had a few things he wanted to share with me from when my name was brought up. 

Firstly, he told me that he was impressed with my grades which I kind of brushed off because they really aren't anything special. We're talking low 80s, maybe an 85 overall average if you convert the grading scale to the one we use in Salem. As a chronic academic overachiever, this feels mediocre to me. 

I should probably cut myself some more slack because I have been doing all of my classes in a different language, but still. I'm done with high school, so really it's just a matter of can I understand the same material in Spanish, and even then school is still just a system you have to learn and beat.  It was nice to hear though that someone was impressed with what I was able to achieve academically in Chile, even if it doesn't match up to my normal standards. 

Next he said that there were a few key things that the teachers appreciated about my presence in school. The most obvious one being that they appreciated my outside perspective and that the students were able to connect with me and learn about the world simply because I am physically present at IRA (Institute of Rafael Ariztia aka the name of my school). The next thing he said was that they were very appreciative of my positive attitude and the energy that I bring to each class I am in and just the school in general. 

This made my heart really happy. I'm not gonna lie. It felt really good to be recognized on those specific terms. I try really hard to be a light and stay optimistic no matter the situation as a foreign exchange student. I've definitely written on here about how being an exchange student is sort of like being a really tangible ghost because my existence is so impermanent, but in this moment it made me happy that I could have some kind of positive impact on the people around me even if my Chilean life is constantly on a countdown clock. 

My professor also said that he thinks that the students in IRA are learning some valuable lessons from me about perseverance and also about the value of their home. They watch me marvel and experience Quillota for the first time, enjoying this beautiful culture that they live in, and it serves as a wakeup call that they have a lot of great things going on right in front of them. I'm glad I can help with this because I think it is an important life lesson to learn for anyone, anywhere in the world. 

Finally he said to me that when they found out that I was an 18 year old exchange student, they were all very nervous about how I would blend in with the student body. Especially because they were going to put me into classes with 16 year olds. He told me he is very pleased to report that there are no problems and they can't wait to have me back next year. 

Claudia chipped in one this part too because she said that she was also nervous to host me because I was 18. She revealed that the most recent girl they hosted was older and they had some trouble with her because of this, but she thinks that because I'm a country gal that is why I am more down to earth and able to adapt. 

I wanna reflect on this a little bit because it got me thinking. 

First of all, I never even considered that the people in Chile might have been nervous to have me because of my age. It frankly just never crossed my mind, because I knew that it would never be a problem because I wouldn't let it be one. But now that I think about it, there are a lot of people who took a risk on me and I'm very grateful that they did. 

Furthermore, I really started wondering if I have been able to find success throughout this exchange largely because I grew up in the country. Initially, I was like "no, it's more your personality Anna. I'm sure a kid from the city could do it the same" 

But then I got thinking about it some more, and isn't a lot of my personality defined by the place I grew up? We are getting into nature vs. nurture here, but I am definitely a person who believes that your environment has a big impact on who you are as a person. My rural background has shaped my values, my beliefs, and my behavior, turning me into the young woman I am today. There is most certainly a distinct tie between the success of my exchange and the fact that I grew up in upstate NY. 

To further this line of reasoning, I have met a lot of other foreign exchange students with a majority of them being from urban areas. Their approaches to foreign exchange are completely different. Not bad, just different. 

I feel very rooted in my reasons for wanting an exchange experience. I want to learn a new language and culture. I want to meet new people and forge connections. It is outside of my comfort zone and I believe it will help me grow personally. I think that Spanish will help me a lot in my future career. I believe that this year away from NY is one that I needed in order to find myself a little bit before I throw myself into 4 years of college stress.

 I know in my last post I talked a lot about how nervous I am that Chile is going to mess me up when I go back to Cornell, but I truly don't know if I could have gone to Cornell right after state office without a year in between. I would have burnt myself out. 

The point is though, I have a lot of very clear and genuine reasons for wanting to be on this exchange that help guide me through every moment. I'm not sure if the other foreign exchange students I have met have this same kind of compass. Could that be because they are not from the country? 

Who knows. I really don't think I am educated enough to answer that question. But it's some food for thought. 

That's really all I've got for today. Oh wait, after the meeting I went with Claudia to the market to buy food for the restaurant and I love the United States don't get me wrong, but the food prices in Chile have got us beat by a mile. 

Claudia probably spent around $200 dollars total (and I'm rounding up a little bit). She had the whole back seat of the truck filled with fresh fruit, vegetables, and fish AND in the bed of the truck she had a huge box of cabbage, four sacks of potatoes, two sacks of onions, some sacks of corn and some other stuff that I can't even remember. 

$200 dollars will buy you a tank of gas to get to the grocery store, a box of cereal, 3 strawberries and some milk if you're lucky. 

Some literal food for thought there for you. 

Now I'm officially done. 

Thanks for tagging along on this ramble. Miss you guys lots. 

Much love always,

Anna

It is officially Chilean Summer

 Seasons greetings from this New York girl who is as shocked as you are that she is missing winter a whole lot. 

I hope that you are all cherishing the chilly weather and the beautiful snow that has been gracing the New York forecast lately, because here in Quillota, Chile it is a crispy 80 degrees on the regular and the sun is so strong that some days I feel like it is beaming into my soul. 

I know that sounds like heaven for anyone who gets the winter blues, but I promise you I still have them except I'm just sweating instead of freezing. 

As the title of this blog post suggests, I have officially finished out the first third of my Chilean adventure and am heading into the second phase which is Chilean summer. Let me tell you about my last week of school and then we will jump into how I am feeling about these next three months of scorching heat. 

The end of the Chilean school year is very different from my American experience. In the U.S. or at least in NY, the end of the year is always stressful because we have final exams in almost every class and if you don't have a final you definitely have a Regents exam. This means that if anything, the pace of the end of the school year picks up and it turns into cram studying, extra long homework assignments, and in general is just a lot of go, go, go. 

In Chile, we don't roll like that. This last week of school was basically optional because we hardly did a single thing in any classes. We had a few funky awards ceremonies and presentations by different school clubs but apart from that there was really no reason to be there. For me, this week still had value because if nothing else at least I was surrounded by Spanish for the whole day and could practice a little bit. But for the average Chilean student, I really couldn't see the value in bothering to come at all. Maybe that is just the New Yorker in me talking though. 

I did end up asking one of the girls in my class why she even bothered coming to school at all and she told me that there is an attendance requirement and I suppose that makes sense, but still. If that was how the end of the school year had been in the U.S. for me, you best believe I would have found something more productive to do. 

Yeah, that is definitely my inner New Yorker talking. 

The last official day of school, which was Friday, December 5th, was equally as slow as the rest of the week. I spent a lot of time just sitting around with a few different groups of my friends.

 In the morning we technically had Economics class with my favorite professor, but we just played a Spanish word game which I was really bad at but it was still a good time. Then I went with Ornella and Angela to watch a dance presentation that was happening in one of the other patios which was interesting. Then after that I danced some Just Dance with Isi, before sitting down to talk with my friends Ben, Cris, and Nicole. 

Ben is actually German, but has lived in Chile with his family for about 10 years now, so he is fluent in Spanish as well as English. He likes to practice speaking in English with me a lot of the time, but don't worry, I always respond in Spanish. 

I will say, it is super nice to have someone to bounce translations and language idiocincricies off of every now and then. I'm grateful that we get along. 

The last event that we had for the day was a big huge Bingo game. With a legitimate pot and not just goofy stickers or candy or something. 

Yup, you read that right. They literally taught us how to gamble in Chilean school on our last day. 

Okay, okay, I know that is a little dramatic. But it cracked me up that in the U.S. you could never do something like that in school. Literally in order to play Bingo at the American Legion in Cambridge you have to be 18 years old or they won't let you in. 

Anyways, I lost at Bingo but it was fun to play with Ben and Cris because we just goofed around the whole time. From an academic standpoint, it definitely helped me practice my numbers in Spanish so that was really good. 

Before I left school that day, I said goodbye to most of my professors and Ben ended up giving me a water bottle as a Christmas present because we have an ongoing joke that I need one because I've been using a plastic one I bought in the Georgia airport this whole time. (Don't worry, I wash it. It was just easier than making a big deal about it) It was very thoughtful of him and it is the prettiest blue color so I will definately be using it. 

Now for how I feel about Chilean summer. 

So far, it doesn't feel that different from a weekend but that is probably because it is still the weekend. 

Mostly, the biggest thing I am nervous about is letting myself slip into a lazy routine. I would in general consider myself a person who likes to be constantly moving, which I've definitely mentioned in other blog posts but oh well. It feels really scary to have so much unstructured time on my hands. 

I'm not nervous that I will get bored per say, because I don't think that the constant chatter in my brain will ever let me get bored. But the lack of structure and stress that normally fill my days in the U.S. and on some level here in Chile when I am in highschool, will almost completely disappear. I'm scared to find out who I will be without that pressure and I'm scared that it's going to make me a slacker or something.

When I come back to the U.S. I have to attend one of our nation's top universities for four years and I need to be on my A game. I am terrified that Chile isn't pushing me the way I need to be pushed to be ready for that pressure. 

Mom tells me that that is a goofy way to think and that I'll be fine. She says I'm growing in deeper ways, even though they might not feel like they follow a straight trajectory of personal growth. I know deep down that she is right like she always is, but I think I am still allowed to be nervous because those are feelings. 

On a more external level, I'm also a little nervous about what my role will become within my host family. I don't want them to think I'm lazy or useless, but at the same time I really am more of a nuisance in the restaurant than anything. I try to help here and there when I can, but for the most part everything moves too fast for me to understand, let alone lend a helping hand. 

And this applies even more because the peak summer season is rapidly approaching and that is when the water park and restaurant will be filled with people and I know everyone is going to be really stressed which stressed me out. 

Wish me luck because it's gonna be an adventure.

That's really all I've got for now. Yesterday I did get to help in the restaurant a little bit because we were preparing for a large group that is here today. We packed desserts and I helped organize little meal ticket stubs so that was good. 

I can't believe it is literally December. Please know that if I saw you in the post office or out and about I would tell you Merry Christmas :)

Much love always,

Anna

Gambling in Chilean School

 

Heart to Heart with Abuela Irma and Reflection

HI I HAVE RETURNED

Apologies for the blog inconsistencies, you would think that I would get better at planning out my Chilean days and scheduling time to blog as time goes on, but sadly you would be mistaken. 

Chilean school has been about the same as my other blog posts descriptions as of lately. I did have my Chilean play which I will post some pictures of. All went very well and I didn't forget any of my lines so that is always good. 

We haven't been doing much if I'm being completely honest. The end of the school year in Chile, based on my experience, is pretty calm. We've had a few final tests here and there but mostly everything just winds down and my impression is that for the last week we play games and socialize and not much else. I suppose I will find out soon enough because my last week of Chilean school is next week. 

Given that I don't have many school updates, I'd like to use this blog post as a bit of an emotional check-in, especially with Thanksgiving having happened and Christmas approaching. Also I think it would be good to debrief how I've been feeling and how my language learning is coming now that I've officially been in Chile for 3 months. Yeah you read that right. 1/3 of my exchange year is officially over as of today. Pretty wild. 

Before we get to that though, let's start with the heart to heart I had with Abuela because I had a really good conversation with her the other day. 

Basically what happened is that my host dad, Gonzalo, had a small operation the other day (don't worry he is recovering very well) but that meant that Claudia was with him in the hospital and my host brothers were all out and about that evening so it was just me and Abuela eating once (pronounced un-say, and it is the Chilean version of dinner). I didn't mind at all because I've actually not been feeling well the past few days, so a mellow meal with Abuela was really exactly what I needed. 

She asked me to put on a movie, so I chose Pretty Woman because that was Grandma Vickie's favorite. Obviously we watched it in Spanish, but it still felt really good to watch that movie with a grandma in some shape or form. Even though Abuela isn't technically my grandma, I've really come to think of her as my own and I'd like to think that she thinks of me as her honorary granddaughter but I suppose you'd have to check with her.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. 

Abuela and I had a really beautiful conversation about her childhood, and I'm proud to say that I think I understood most of it. 

We talked about how her father used to be the caretaker of polo horses and how she's loved horses and horseback riding for her whole life. She told me that she used to have long braids, with bows on the end that always matched her dresses because her mom made sure of it and she would wear her cowgirl hat and go to all of the rodeos and horse events with her dad. She told me he used to sit her down with some cookies and a drink for the day and she would watch the horses for as long as she could. She even used to compete in some of the rodeos she told me. 

Abuela has actually lived in Rauten her whole life, or at least the majority of it. Her family has always owned property here and that is why my host family came back to this area after living on Easter Island for many years. 

Technically my exchange year is in the city of Quillota, but my host family lives in a small suburb named Rauten. It's kind of the same idea of how people say they are from Salem when they actually live in Hebron or Jackson. 

Abuela also told me that the first time she left the country was during the time when the military dictatorship was about to start, and she went to visit her friend in Ecuador and ended up having to stay because she couldn't get back into Chile. That was the first time she had been on a plane and she was somewhere between 24 and 27 years old. Just a baby she said. 

She told me she stayed for about a year and lived and worked with her friend in some kind of printing shop, or at least that was my understanding of what she said. It's crazy to me to think about how much life she has lived. 

I love thinking of her with her long hair and pretty dresses and bows on the back of a horse, not a care in the world. She is a force to be reckoned with now, I can only imagine how the Chilean boys felt back in the day. 

She told me that she was basically the Queen of Rauten, and honestly, I completely believe her. She sounds pretty dang close to royalty based on what I've heard so far. 

The lesson that I am choosing to take away from all of this is simply that it is so worth it to make the time to get to know people and listen and care for their stories. Just take a minute to think about the fact that this 84 year old woman, who has lived through so many different adventures, ended up sitting at a dinner table with me, and sharing her life experiences and now I am writing them down on this crazy electronic device that didn't even exist when she was actually living those moments. Wild. 

My hope in writing them down is of course to share them with everyone at home because let's be honest, I have the coolest Chilean grandma. But also I want to remember these interactions so I can remember and honor her even after I have left Chile because that is what she deserves. 

So yeah. That was my heart to heart with Abuela. Now let's do a little bit of reflection.

As far as my language learning is going, I am definitely improving. I feel like I slip in and out of Spanish and English a lot easier now and while I still lack a lot of vocabulary, I understand about 85% of what is happening most of the time. 

I find that I struggle if I am put in a stressful situation where I need to understand something quickly, or if I am given a set of directions that are more specific than normal and I know that I have to follow them to have success in a particular situation. 

I also have noticed that I struggle with reading large texts and writing fluidly, so my goal is to work on those skills over the summer by reading more in Spanish and making a point to journal or just expose myself to Spanish grammar and vocabulary more. I saw some girls in my class playing some word games the other day and I thought that might be a fun way to learn. My specialized writing teacher also gave us some grammar resources the other day and I'd like to download them and thoroughly go through them sometime when I get a chance. 

As far as how I am feeling, it's always a mix of emotions. 

I had a stretch of about 2 weeks where I felt alright and I didn't cry too much. My Chilean routine is starting to feel more familiar, the bed I'm sleeping in feels more comfortable, and I think my body is adjusting better to the food, although the mealtimes still mess with me a lot. 

But then this past week has been pretty hard. I wasn't feeling well which definitely was a factor. I am extra tired and it's been so hard knowing that everyone is home from college, spending time with their family, eating delicious food and preparing for a nice chilly Christmas, while I'm here.

They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Chile, although my host family seems excited about the idea of trying to do something similar over the summer so we shall see how that goes. But on top of that, it just doesn't feel like December. 

I'm sure to a lot of you, permanent summer sounds like a dream, but for me I feel like I'm stuck in an endless cycle of June/July and I don't really like it. I feel like time is standing still and that the life I'm living here isn't really even my life. It's just this hiatus I'm taking and when I come back to the United States it's going to be during the exact same era that I left, like nothing ever happened. Just a brief glitch in a timeline somewhere. 

There's definitely more to it than me just craving the passage of time. I also feel like I am missing out on my own life. 

It's actually so weird for me to think about my family having holidays and going about their lives without me. Like what do you mean they are a family of four now? They go out to dinner and people think that my little sister is the oldest simply because I am not there. How can that be? 

My little brother is getting taller every second of the day and I can hear his voice changing over the phone. What do you mean he's going to be a completely different person when I come home? Will we even be friends? Who will I be when I finally get on that plane to go back to New York? Will I like her? 

I talked about how I was feeling during National FFA Convention a few weeks back, and I may have even mentioned that I listened to past National FFA President, Thaddeus Bergschneider's retiring address, but I'd like to share with you the tagline that he based his entire speech off of because it has been getting me through some hard moments lately. 

In his speech, which was centered around the theme of making sacrifices, Thad said this: 

Do the difficult now. Gain the great later. Find purpose in the present. 

His point with that is that if we make sacrifices now, someone in the future, whether it be ourselves or someone we care about, will gain something great. And the phrase "find purpose in the present" ties into that because when we are actively sacrificing to get to a desired outcome, it becomes the focus and purpose of each moment in front of us. 

Well, that's how I interpreted it at least. If you look up "Thaddeus Bergschneider National FFA President Retiring Address" in google you can listen for yourself. I highly reccomend. Take the 20 minutes and go do it.

Anyway, the way that I see that playing out in my life here in Chile is that I made the sacrifice. I have already "done the difficult". 

I walked away from a loving community, a beautiful home, and postponed enrollment in the college of my dreams just to cross my fingers and hope that I find something that can measure up. I believe this is something that makes me different from most foreign exchange students because I walked away from a beautiful, beautiful life. I wasn't trying to escape anything and I had everything to lose by leaving.

If I'm being honest, I don't think Chile has measured up to what I have at home. 

That's not me saying that I don't love it here. My life in Chile is beautiful and there are so many amazing people and experiences that I have experienced so far. Especially my host family, oh my goodness I got so lucky. 

That being said though, none of it holds the same significance and purpose for me that my life at home does.

And that is where the next part of Thad's tagline comes in. 

Gain the great later. 

I know that by sticking with this experience, fighting through all of these hard feelings, and doing these new things will help me gain life perspective, fluency in a second language, and depth as a young woman. I will gain something great. 

But this is the tricky part. 

Find purpose in the present. 

Because I am still in the process of making this sacrifice that will give me something great in the future, my job becomes to find the things in the present that have meaning and are pointing me in the direction of my goal, even though the purpose feels more shallow than was I used to have before. 

I struggle the most with this step because I am accustomed to moving a lot, making noticeable progress, fighting, stressing, failing, but moving, moving, moving. Always moving towards the next good grade, impactful speech, physical location, or big target. 

In Chile, finding purpose in the present looks like engaging with as much Spanish as I can. Even when it's boring. It looks like having patience, sitting around a lot and simply watching Chilean life unfold around me because I can learn new things just by being in a room. It looks like making my bed in the morning, doing the dishes for my host family at night, and constantly being uncomfortable as I try and figure out where I fit in the lives of these people that I have only known for three months.

 It looks like going to school and trying at least a little bit because I will always learn something if I try, even though I have no reason to because my grades don't matter. It looks like talking with Abuela, and sitting idle a lot of the time waiting for something to happen. It looks like relying on other people a lot instead of moving at my own pace because even though my Spanish has improved, I will never be as independent here as I am capable of being in the U.S.

And all of that is honestly really hard to do. To slow down, but not lose motivation or faith that I made the right choice. 

I still question if I did the right thing on a regular basis. But I am actively fighting that sentiment and trying to believe that the universe or some kind of something out there has a plan and it will all turn out the way it is supposed to be. 

Thanks for sticking with me through all that. I appreciate all of you who keep up with my blog so so much because it makes me feel a little more connected to home. Now that you've finished, make sure to go and watch that speech, I swear you won't regret it ;)

Much love always,

Anna